A perplexed dream

When I was young, I used to think a lot of who I was, and where I was heading to, fortunately whenever my mother got me silent, she would ask me, why I would be quiet, I surely never replied her at any moment because I used to fear, would feel timid. 

One day she called me on and took me to the kitchen, we were there two and she was making soup, she repeatedly asked me, what I used to think about oftenly. Well i decided to open up, and told her, that I used to think of my future as a lawyer and that I wanted to see myself in court pleading for especially the innocent citizens of this nation. 

Mum was so amazed and thereafter she also narrated her tale to me, siath that, it was her dream too, used to dream of being a lawyer however her parents weren’t able to take her for law, they never had the money, though she managed to go for medicine and she became a nurse. But when I asked her, whether she would support me pursue my dream, mum was more than ready to do so. I love my mum, she started telling me to love history, geography, literature and English, and for sure from nursery to secondary my performance in English and SST were very excellent. I never knew that this was indeed building my foundation for the future and I never knew that it was originating from my mother’s perplexed dream that wanted to tread its way through me.

Did I pursue my dream?

When my beloved mother passed on, I fore felt that my dreams were tarnished, for sure I failed to pursue my dream plan of being a lawyer, I was in senior one, so zealous and hard working ready to read novels and books, learn more English and indeed I was ever smart, talk of the ever smart student at school, it was me. Dress code counts a lot in a profession.   

No turning point, I realized it after senior four when I was told to go for nursing, this made me sick the more, imagine from law to medicine just like my loved mom, I for sure reflected to it and thought back. I was open and told my Dad, that I was not ready for medicine, he was so parental and openly siath, no you will go for high school, this made me happy the more, come after the two years, I pass high school, and nobody could tell of the victory I had then. Later after receiving my results, I was told to go for a high education course – teacher, it was more perplex, and I truly looked infuriated. 

On hearing that, I knew that my dream was tarnished, would I ever pursue it, I kept on suffering this fury alone, and fighting professional battles individually, this asks both of us not to let go of things we value most but always struggle to deal with them, whatever case it may be, I kept trying and forcing life, though I never told my dad and now that my only mom who knew about it, had passed on, I was for sure between the develo and the deep sea.

I kept on thinking how to convince my dad and one day I asked him, whether he could support me do a diploma in law atleast at one of the universities in my home area, he asked me to pick application papers, the university gave me public administration, and I was fade up again. I for sure could not understand myself as to why with my good performance I underwent all these trials, after all this, dad asked me to apply in other two universities, now there I even never asked for law, I decided to go social science, I was given the courses I asked for and took one of them for undergraduate degree. 

I feel no regrets, I did a course that has made me who I am, I never knew that I would find myself doing advocacy work which I would rather have done as a lawyer, I am advocating for women and children’s’ rights, something I wanted to do for the innocent citizens one may call them vulnerable, I prefer calling them innocent citizens. I feel pretty conformable though not a learned fellow, the issue was doing advocacy work.

For some one reading this legend, you may find yourself doing things against your dream, never mind sometime T, you will find yourself pursuing it, and at one moment, you will do it. I still have hope that I will one day see my dream come true. I will do law and will be a lawyer. 

I lost it then, failed to achieve it then, but can’t lose hope, will keep it at heart, being a lawyer is part of me, it takes a heart, zeal and passion.

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